Arctic Circle Finland: Suomi Faction JackedUp Nation

Yes, finally back in the land of cross country skiing. After an uneventful trip I was collected by the Finnish Branch of the Jacked Up Nation. Their actual identities are withheld to protect them and their families. Currently at the Arctic Circle for a few days of indoctrination then shall be transferred to Muonio for action.

Guess what the heck this is?

Ok.

It is a Bottle of Scotch that was purchased for my old Coach that brought me from a city slicker from New York to a World Class Athlete in under 24 months two decades ago.

It also is a sign that things are starting to go the "Jacked Up Way" .

It was purchased at the duty free shop at JFK Airport, NY transported across the pond. When transferring to a domestic flight i Finland the screeners said that I had to toss this because could not bring on plane even though I did not leave a sterile area?? Who Figures? THey said that the EU does not trust the TSA??

SO instead of tossing this nasty elixir I went out of the sterile area intoo Helsinki Vantaa and checked it as is although the Gate Attended wrapped it in the Garbage bag you see and we put it on the belt.

It was expected to arrive smashed in Rovaniemi. BUt it came off the belt intact. Who would've figured that???

To The Homeland, Redemption

As local members of “Jackedupnation” may have figured out, the Soldier Hollow roller ski races I have just returned from, didn’t go so well.

My reaction to the high altitude there didn’t go as planned, and while I am displeased with myself, I was not discouraged.

Until today.

Yes, today….

Today I got kicked to the curb…

Just minutes ago, by special currier, I received a letter from “The Institute”.

Yes, “The Institute” where I have been granted asylum from the real world.

Where I was helped to further my quest for the ultimate ski technique, expand the boundaries of human performance, and escape into a world where I was valued as a man on a quest.

Until today.

Here is what the letter said:

Dear Jackedupoldman,

It has come to our attention that you have failed to make the world cup trip in biathlon due to your utter and complete failure in Soldier Hollow.We here at the Institute wish to remind you that it was “do or do not” time and you “did not”.

When you came to us for help those many years ago, you promised results.

Many on THE BOARD felt you were over the hill, washed up and a mere shadow of your former self, but in a sprit of benevolence, we took a gamble, and took you under our wing.With the provision that you would produce” spectacular” results, proof positive that you were worthy of our trust in you.

We are still waiting to see your name at the top of a result list. Any result list.

Frankly, you have been hanging on by a tread, your only saving grace being your total destruction of the US Nordic community on Whiteface Mountain.

That result each year gave us hope, as lord knows, that was about it for your “total world domination”, as you kept claiming you were on the verge of.

However, with your last minute decision to sit out this year’s Race to the Castle, Soldier Hollow became your final chance to renew our faith in you.

We think it goes without saying that based on those races; your ski career is over.

It was a good one, you had many days in the sun, but clearly, you have lost a step. Or three.

Those “kids”, as you keep calling those 25 year olds on the National Team, are where we are putting our money behind now.

We owe it to our investors to at least give them some return on their investment.

You have been, to be honest, just a drain.

Therefore, let it be known that Jackedupoldman is no longer a part of “The Institute”

All of your privileges have been revoked.

We deny your mere existence.

We do however wish you well as you make the transition into the real world. Our counselors are standing by to assist you as we feel you are going to need some severe help coping with reality, as it has been decades since your last visit to Planet Earth.

Even Jackedup has feelings and after reading that, I was down in the dumps.

Way down.

I had narrowly slipped through the fingers of my family’s intervention, but this was just too much.

Clearly, I needed to do some soul searching.

So, I do what I always do.

I put the hammer down.

It was time to find the inner “Jackedup”.

I find that pain purifies my thoughts, and for the next 8 hours, I became purified personified.

And then, as it always does, my destiny became clear.

Give up?

Go back to the Real World?

Become the “oldman” formerly known as “jackedup”?

I think not!

And so, I decided it was time to get back to my roots. My quest now must go back to where many of my training practices where honed.

Where I could get my biathlon MOJO back.

Where I would be looked on as a man on a mission, not a madman.

Yes, the only country in the world where “Jackedup” can be understood.

Finland.

A land where they have a different word for everything, and no word for “crazy”!

Yes, I leave for Finland to regain what I have lost.

My dignity.

Jackedup is not done yet!

Those Institute @#$%! don’t have a clue!

I might be out of their minds, but they are not out of mine.

It is on.

Now we are going to be doing things one way… the Jackedup way.

I pity the fool who tries to stop me.

Utah Epic Classic Trip That's What It's all About

Big Mountain Mission Accomplished

Heading Up Big Mountain

It is about getting together with great people going out and doing what you love. After having a couple of frustrating days on the course and range at Soldier Hollow... fortunately was saved. Was able to meet up with "Nordic Dave" and was introduced to one of his stomping grounds. We started out in Salt Lake City went up some canyon ending up on Little Mountain Pass after doing both sides of this climb we again descended went down to the bottom of the valley then turned around and finished on Big Mountain. All things considered it was an amazing workout in great company and majestic scenery.

In Utah Do Not Enter Means :

Do Not Enter

Barn Before Soldier Hollow Venue

Biathlon Intervals Oct 13 2009

Last Biathlon intervals before heading to Utah.
Felt much better then at 5900 ft trying to survive.
Word to the wise do not race in your 3rd to 5th day at altitude.

Intervention Foiled

Well right now as I am sitting on a jet under the name Jacked Up. Mr Up to the uninformed.

While I am heading at 600mph to my destiny at Soldier Hollow, my Family, Friends, USBiathlon Representatives, Coaches, Adviser's and Coworkers are sitting in my living room drinking Dark Roasted Starbucks by the gallon expectantly waiting my return from what they think is my Saturday morning obligatory hammer session.
What brings a group like that together?

An intervention.

For yours truly, Jackedup old man.

Luckily an unnamed source leaked that the support team that I have learned to count , whom has enabled me to continue my addiction to the sustained dopaminergic release I get from training has decided it is time for Jackedup to own up to the facts.
This Olympic "Craziness", need to be confronted. Why now? It's a mystery to me. Just because My Wife and Kids have not seen me for the last three months is no need to panic.
Tipped off to this attempt to derail the Jackedup train, I decided to stage my own preemptive strike.

Friday was spent at the Courthouse changing my identity to my alter Ego - Jacked Up. Getting plane tickets updating USADA etc all the time pretending I was innocently at work.

As I prepared to continue my delusions, my "intervention group" was getting their iron clad case together to make me face the facts.

They think that this triaining should stop. They cite many reasons.
#1 That I am not contender for the US Olympic Biathlon Team but a middle aged man undergoing a mid life crisis. Unnamed Representatives of the USBA have convinced them of this.

#2 My new "Tiger Claw" technique is insane and proves that I have gone over the edge.
#3 I have a family ( huh? when did that happen) that needs my full attention, and financial earnings.
#4 This is 2009 not 1992, the sport has passed me by. I need to be working on my golf and boccie games, not ramping up some 210 beats per minute roller ski workout on a treadmill.
#5 Even if I made the Olympic team -Who cares anyway!!

My answer:
Jacked Up cares.
And that is good enough for me.
Nice try intervention group, by the time you get this, I will be on the start line in Utah.
Destiny awaits in Soldier Hollow, I will continue to fight the good fight.
Like the Phoenix, I will rise again....

The Future is Here " Tiger Claw"

Most of "Jackedup Nation" realizes that behind the barb wired fence at Area 143 there are things happening. Revolutionary things. Secret things. One of these classified projects has been as enthralling, and as awe inspiring, as the Apollo and Manhattan Projects were back in the day. It is the next breakthrough in ski technique. It has been a steady progression of experimentation taking years to assemble. First there was the Skijitsu Technique. This was demonstrated on the Toll Road at Whiteface Mountain in the Fall of 2008. Many shortchanged the results saying they were falsely based on the 4Wheeled Rocket Skiis(Code Named:The (&*^$&%$#^$@$!^$). This was believable to the Masses. BUT the Erudite realized that something else was going on.
Skijitsu!! They did not know what the technique was called. They just knew it was new, and it was fast, very fast. They had heard the whispers on the wind about the government funded - ultra-secret project to develop ultimate ski technique. After hundreds of hours of video analysis and dartfish assisted breakdown of the technique at a long and secret retreat, Vordy, Fish, Caldwell among other's, believed they had cracked the code. Unfortunately for them, researcher's at the institute had already realized the fatal flaw of Skijitsu. It was only effective at 7% grade to 11%. Perfect for the toll road, or the last stage of the Tour de Ski, but consequently inefficient and useless at lesser grades and higher speeds. Once the liability was identified, the institute shifted into overdrive to find a solution. With 2010 on the horizon, failure was not an option. This solution was the Apollo11 Rocket technique which was more efficient and faster over more a varied terrain, while still maintaining the crushing uphill pace demonstrated on Whiteface. At first it was merely theoretical. Numbers were crunched force plate analysis, biometrics VQ, blah blah. Once again, the field test would be the Race to the Castle. Fall 2009 - Whiteface Toll Road. Result- Total Domination.. again the expert analysis was that it was just the rocket skis. Despite the results, the Institute's search for the perfect technique was still on. While the Apollo11 was better then Skijitsu, it still had some fatal flaws . Due to Government restrictions those flaws cannot even be inferred to here. It was in late 2009 however, that the testing finally had another breakthrough's and an even newer technique was born. The ultimate in ski racing.
The Tiger Claw. Yes the Tiger Claw. You may laugh at the ridiculous of this preponderance. But in laboratory tests on the Punisher, and on road courses designed to simulate World Cup ski terrain, the Tiger Claw has broken every previous record. By minutes, not seconds. And so, while unable to race Whiteface, the facts are in, the Tiger Claw is the technique of the future and will be on public display, very, very soon. Consider yourself warned....

Thoughts on 2009 North American Birkebeiner

First of all an awesome event. At the Birke one can catch up with many old ski friends. It is an amazing atmosphere with all types and kinds of skiers well represented. The most rewarding parts last year were of course catching up with old friends enjoying the hospitality of my hosts the Bauer's. John also makes it a near impossibility to win the 40-45 age group. Actually cannot wait until he is again out of my age group.

This past year I was able t get there a couple of days in advance and help out with a National Guard Booth where we had an information on the Biathlon Program at the National Guard and help out at the TOKO tech team by answering questions about wax and waxing to many appreciative people.

Why am I going on about the Birke now anyway??

Well I watched under the power lines in the media player at Fasterskier.

Earlier this year some people had inquired as to what the heck I was thinking during that time?

It is very simple we are all addicted to Dopamine. Leading a race gives me a Dopamine high.

Not to mention that I buy lottery tickets occasionally and always think that I am going to win.

Also in the beginning of the Birke there were so many people, it was a pain to ski in the pack. In a pack that big it is easy to get caught up with some people and fall, break a pole, etc. I just wanted to thin it out a little.

Hope to be in the same position next year.