As local members of “Jackedupnation” may have figured out, the Soldier Hollow roller ski races I have just returned from, didn’t go so well.
My reaction to the high altitude there didn’t go as planned, and while I am displeased with myself, I was not discouraged.
Until today.
Yes, today….
Today I got kicked to the curb…
Just minutes ago, by special currier, I received a letter from “The Institute”.
Yes, “The Institute” where I have been granted asylum from the real world.
Where I was helped to further my quest for the ultimate ski technique, expand the boundaries of human performance, and escape into a world where I was valued as a man on a quest.
Until today.
Here is what the letter said:
Dear Jackedupoldman,
It has come to our attention that you have failed to make the world cup trip in biathlon due to your utter and complete failure in Soldier Hollow.We here at the Institute wish to remind you that it was “do or do not” time and you “did not”.
When you came to us for help those many years ago, you promised results.
Many on THE BOARD felt you were over the hill, washed up and a mere shadow of your former self, but in a sprit of benevolence, we took a gamble, and took you under our wing.With the provision that you would produce” spectacular” results, proof positive that you were worthy of our trust in you.
We are still waiting to see your name at the top of a result list. Any result list.
Frankly, you have been hanging on by a tread, your only saving grace being your total destruction of the US Nordic community on Whiteface Mountain.
That result each year gave us hope, as lord knows, that was about it for your “total world domination”, as you kept claiming you were on the verge of.
However, with your last minute decision to sit out this year’s Race to the Castle, Soldier Hollow became your final chance to renew our faith in you.
We think it goes without saying that based on those races; your ski career is over.
It was a good one, you had many days in the sun, but clearly, you have lost a step. Or three.
Those “kids”, as you keep calling those 25 year olds on the National Team, are where we are putting our money behind now.
We owe it to our investors to at least give them some return on their investment.
You have been, to be honest, just a drain.
Therefore, let it be known that Jackedupoldman is no longer a part of “The Institute”
All of your privileges have been revoked.
We deny your mere existence.
We do however wish you well as you make the transition into the real world. Our counselors are standing by to assist you as we feel you are going to need some severe help coping with reality, as it has been decades since your last visit to Planet Earth.
Even Jackedup has feelings and after reading that, I was down in the dumps.
Way down.
I had narrowly slipped through the fingers of my family’s intervention, but this was just too much.
Clearly, I needed to do some soul searching.
So, I do what I always do.
I put the hammer down.
It was time to find the inner “Jackedup”.
I find that pain purifies my thoughts, and for the next 8 hours, I became purified personified.
And then, as it always does, my destiny became clear.
Give up?
Go back to the Real World?
Become the “oldman” formerly known as “jackedup”?
I think not!
And so, I decided it was time to get back to my roots. My quest now must go back to where many of my training practices where honed.
Where I could get my biathlon MOJO back.
Where I would be looked on as a man on a mission, not a madman.
Yes, the only country in the world where “Jackedup” can be understood.
Finland.
A land where they have a different word for everything, and no word for “crazy”!
Yes, I leave for Finland to regain what I have lost.
My dignity.
Jackedup is not done yet!
Those Institute @#$%! don’t have a clue!
I might be out of their minds, but they are not out of mine.
It is on.
Now we are going to be doing things one way… the Jackedup way.
I pity the fool who tries to stop me.
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