BIg Game Shooting Training

The Hirvi or Moose Hunt

Due to persistent beatings on the range. Shooting training has been changed. The Minnesota Machine and I have started Big Game Hunting in our condo while waiting to attack the range in the early am.

Canmore Race Series #1 Over

Photo Credits: National Guard Biathlon Pictures form 10km Sprint Saturday November 29th

Finished with first official races of the season. The hellatious downhill was all that got me to go around the course at times after the mental and physical batterings that were received on the shooting range. It was a sort of S-turn that if you tried to turn you would slide due to all the ice in the trail from all the snow plowing going down. It would have made a great video of the youth competitors coming down that hill that while warming down Bill Bowler, Russell Courrier and I stopped for some time to watch them biff and boff through the hill sometimes there were 2 or more lying on the trail in the middle of the turn in some sort of contortionists pose. Luckily nobody was getting bashed up to badly.

The turn was so bad assed that it even took out our Specials Forces Biathlete right before his standing shooting. Filling his barrel and sight with snow.

Doug Bernard successfully negotiating the Hellatious Ice Riddled S-Curve

Canmore, Where Skiers Are Made

A Sunrise as we arrive at the Venue for another hammer session. This weekend the North American BIathlon Series starts in Canmore, Alberta, Canada.
They have the the whole range covered. We will ski from the Range up to the top of the hill each loop. Every loop people have to cross traffic twice so there is a possibility of some major carnage. Also since we are using all of the available trails we will share half the trails with all the other tourists and Racers training here tomorrow.
Even with under 2 miles of man made snow Canmore is a spectacular place to train.

Recent Webcam Footage from the Institute

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Recent Webcam Footage from the Institute

No Cross Country Skiing for Old Men, That is Discrimination

Do Not Bring a Biathlon Rifle to Britain: Enforced Rest

The conspiracy to manipulate one Man's existence continues. Remember Friend "They are even out to get Paranoid people." .

Do Not Bring a Rifle into Great Britain no matter what anybody tells you.

Do Not Bring a Rifle into Great Britain no matter what anybody tells you.

Do Not Bring a Rifle into Great Britain no matter what anybody tells you.

The Authorities did not believe that I escaped from Finland and arrived at Heathrow via Santa's Sled. They did not even find any humor in that. Even in the land of Benny Hill. Go Figure.

After one week of enforced rest and recovery at a Government subsidized training facility I have been released to the US Army for duty in Canmore, Alberta.

Luckily, I am not in West Yellowstone this week. Although I love going there and have many great memories from West. It is a premier place to go for early season training. The grooming is always perfect. The scenery is awesome. People are great.

Although it looks like Nirvana in West. There are some problems with training there during the Thanksgiving week. Many of the people coming there like to stop in the middle of the trail and socialize? This interferes with my Systemic Over Training Plan.

In order to avoid slowing down and stopping and continue to overtrain, and also to avoid harming innocent skiers enjoying themselves I am forced to train at all hours of the night and early morning by headlamp and night vision. This disrupts my Arcadian rhythms and sleep schedule.

Quote Of the Week: Excuses!!

Stolen from a Winning High School Coach:

Excuses are like Butt Cracks

Everyone has one and they all stink!!

Top Ten All Time Excuses to Follow at a predetermined date.

Arrested!! "Illegal Ski Technique"

Jacked Up being led off the tracks by Finnish Police

After escaping from the Olos Ski Prison Jacked Up took up residence in Rovaniemi, Finland. A quiet setting with a great history in the Nordic Sports. It was the perfect place to train anonymously and discreetly. Oh Well!!

Today the Jacked Up old Man was arrested after being reported by Ounasvaara Ski Club Officials and local Citizens who recognized him from Finland's Most Wanted show. As he was skiing around the ski track.

Some of the charges that were leaked from the sealed inditement, Jacked Up was charged with:

Illegal Ski Technique

Skiing to Fast

Impersonating a Finnish National Team Skier

Hunting Reindeer and Moose without a license

Training with Illegal Training Plan

Systemic Overtraining

Impersonating Santa Claus

Neglecting Recovery

He was immediately sentenced and returned to the Lapland Prison System for Remedial Skiing and Shooting.

We all know what the Finns are up to arresting and incarcerating an innocent Man who is just Guilty of loving Skiing and Hard Training... Protecting National Interests and the Population??

Dragging that Reindeer down the trail was simply resistance training.

We all know what the Finn's are after.. They are after the secret weapon.

TIGER CLAW

Fortunately the Institute is sending a Fast Action Extraction Team to Lapland. To protect their "Intellectual Property"

Excerpts From Prison

Pictured above is the reason that there will never be peace. What is that? A pile of anonymous shoes? No it is NOT!!

That is the space between the door of my room and Athletes from a former Eastern Bloc. While I have not talked to them. Talking to extraneous individuals is not mission specific. I have had my personal space infringed or incringed on by some heinous smelly footwear. Retaliation is imminent.

Have you ever interviewed prison Inmates? Well if you see them for medical reasons one visit is the as the next different Joe but same general story. They are innocent and have trouble sleeping.

Well this inmate is Guilty and has no problem sleeping. Oh Well

Here is an excerpt from an anonymous prisoner in another cell in another prison in Lapland. They obviously make an industry of making prison life in November in Lapland seem Glamorous

"to prison R.D.D

here it is the same. sleep, training, food, sleep, training, food. I can’t even eat this shit anymore. Cold smoked bear meat was terrible. Cat fish caviar or reindeer tongue I won’t take any more. Only bison meat and pizza Al Capone keeps me alive here middle of nowhere. After some beer it is easy to calculate that it’s only 2 days left or was it 4 ?

unknown soldier from cell 117"

This message was recieved through underground internet facilitated by satillite aided internet device smuggled in as Alpina Boots, Madshus Skis, Exel Poles, Oakley Glasses, Craft Long Underwear. Progress and freedom cannot be help back.

Swedish National Biathlon Team Zeroing for the Olos Invitational incidently Won by Paavo Puurinen.

Jail Break planned shortly have a Moose Suit and going trot through the Tundra and avoid being shot.

Ski Jail, Muonio Northern Finland

Currently banished to Northern Finland in a "Virtual Jail". Was dropped up here at the Olos "Resort". There are no fences or guards that are apparent. Although once you leave the confines of the ski trails there is just a moonscape. It is common knowledge that there are man eating Reindeer and Moose in the frozen tundra.

Right now they have 7km of man made snow. There is a 41 point Biathlon range. Consequently there are around 20 National Teams Cross Country and Biathlon Teams imprisoned here, preparing for the upcoming Winter Season.

There are many other inhabitants of this Jail although I have not talked to them. They also go out and do hard labor on the ski tracks.

It is funny that although Mother Russia has been disbanded... The Russian Team and all their satellite teams still have many old men standing around the trail. What are they doing?? Trying to stop people from leaving the track and going and smoking a pipe in the woods?? Who knows what they are doing. But they are there.

The beginning or end of the track.

Luckily some of the Guards have been helping me. Much Thanks to them.

So far I have done one Time Trial and have another one early this upcoming week.

It is much easier to train for Biathlon if you get some help on the range.

If you read this please send Extraction Team. Sometimes you get what you ask for. I am in TOKO gear skiing for my life.

BIke Racing and Ultimate Fighting My Channel

Arctic Circle Finland: Suomi Faction JackedUp Nation

Yes, finally back in the land of cross country skiing. After an uneventful trip I was collected by the Finnish Branch of the Jacked Up Nation. Their actual identities are withheld to protect them and their families. Currently at the Arctic Circle for a few days of indoctrination then shall be transferred to Muonio for action.

Guess what the heck this is?

Ok.

It is a Bottle of Scotch that was purchased for my old Coach that brought me from a city slicker from New York to a World Class Athlete in under 24 months two decades ago.

It also is a sign that things are starting to go the "Jacked Up Way" .

It was purchased at the duty free shop at JFK Airport, NY transported across the pond. When transferring to a domestic flight i Finland the screeners said that I had to toss this because could not bring on plane even though I did not leave a sterile area?? Who Figures? THey said that the EU does not trust the TSA??

SO instead of tossing this nasty elixir I went out of the sterile area intoo Helsinki Vantaa and checked it as is although the Gate Attended wrapped it in the Garbage bag you see and we put it on the belt.

It was expected to arrive smashed in Rovaniemi. BUt it came off the belt intact. Who would've figured that???